I was no Helen Hunt he sure was no Paul Reiser. More like Helen Hunt married to Paul Reiser in Mad About You. NobodyĮver, ever thought that I looked like an inspector, the only woman homicide inspector in the entire SFPD. I can even see myself, the way I used to be, anyway. My best girls-Claire, Cindy, and Jill-our crazy club. The terrible, indelible honeymoon murders that terrified our city, mixed with close-ups of my mom and even a few flashes of

Lots of images are coming way too fast for me to handle. Of soft hands, of Chris, and that starts me crying. I lightly brush the barrel of the revolver down my cheek and then up to my temple again. Of course, none of them are up here getting ready to blow their brains I was more successful than any of the males in Homicide. It is a rare combination, and I think it is why Was my strength as an inspector with the San Francisco Police Department. I can be as logical as hell, but I am also highly emotional, obviously. I have thought it all through a hundred times. Only I'm pretty sure that I'd be back out here tomorrow night, or the night after. They would hold me, hug me, say all the right things. Claire, Cindy, and Jill would be here almost before I hung up the phone. She's a good, loyal friend who's been nuzzling me good-night every single nightĪs I stare into the Border collie's eyes, I think that maybe I should go inside and call the girls. Martha won't leave, though, won't look away. 'It's okay,' I call to her through the door.

I turn and see she is watching me through the glass doors that lead to the terrace. Quite a sentiment, but appropriate and just, I think. I'm looking out over glorious San Francisco and I have my service revolver pressed against the side of my temple. IT IS AN UNUSUALLY WARM NIGHT in July, but I'm shivering badly as I stand on the substantial gray stone terrace outside myĪpartment.

First to die james patterson